Yesterday Mike and I moved into the new home we’ll live in when our little one comes. The entire place was a complete gut renovation, so it was delayed by construction and people lying to us for 15 days. To top it all off, on the day they finally said we could move it was pouring. Not raining. Actually pouring. Luckily we hired movers (only so much a pregnant lady can do, y’all) and of course our best friends came through to help us out. Sure, there are boxes everywhere and the floors still smell awful, but we are in and relieved that the waiting game is over.
If you’ve been following this blog for the past couple of years you’ll know we have had a roommate with us since 2011. Justin has been our best friend and our constant. Together, the three of us transitioned between college and “the real world.” It has worked, and we have truly become family. We’ve supported each other through various successes and struggles with all life has thrown at us. We’ve celebrated our wins together, and we’ve sat together in silence as we’ve mourned our losses. We’ve been together when it was a struggle to make rent, and we’ve been together when rent was a piece of cake. We survived two hurricanes, upstairs neighbors who fell asleep while playing “Loyal” by Chris Brown on a loop, upstairs neighbors flooding their kitchen, upstairs neighbors flooding their bathroom, an engagement + planning a wedding, Game of Thrones, family tragedies, getting jobs, losing jobs, bomb threats, and the time I made really bad scones.
Moving into a new home was (obviously) prompted by our news that we were expecting. The three of us had previously discussed still staying together: it was genuinely easier and we’d gotten really good at it. But when we found out we were pregnant, things changed. I guess I never actually imagined that this phase of our lives would end. When Mike and I got married our friends were by our side, then sleeping on our couch later that week. This move has us taking our first real step down the road that inevitably separates us from everyone else. It’s been difficult. I thought I would be excited to move into our own space, but Justin has been more of a comfort to me than I thought. I sort of hate being home alone, and I really never had to be when there were three of us. I never had to reach things on the top shelf because someone was always there. I always had a movie buddy, or someone to complain to, or just someone. Even as our work schedules changed and we saw less of each other throughout the week, just having him around and knowing someone else was coming home later always made me feel safe.
As I stress myself out, Mike is always the one who helps me see through the muck: Justin will always be family. Our years together can never be replaced. Just because he no longer lives with us doesn’t mean he’ll become less of our brother or less of an uncle to our baby. Justin has shared in all of our memories, and he will share in this one too.
As I was sponging down the bathroom in the new place, I suddenly got overwhelmed when I realized I was standing in the tub that I would bathe my child in for the first time. So naturally, I started crying. After months of uncertainty, I officially have a home to picture when I imagine what’s next. The future is terrifying, but the fun part about marriage is you don’t have to face it alone.
So there it is: end chapter. The next one looks like it’s going to be a lot louder. And you know what? We’re definitely not ready. But bring it on, anyway.