I’m 6 months along in my pregnancy, but since I was so late in sharing the news on here I figured I should give some love to the very beginning. The hot, humid torturous months of my first trimester. Ah, yes, they were exactly as unpleasant as people say they will be!
Here are all of the crazy First Trimester things I felt from June through August, aka the saddest summer of my life (dear morning sickness – you totally suck).
*I wrote this in June, so don’t let the present tense confuse you!
- We were completely terrified before we were excited. I mean basically paralyzed with fear. You guys, I just realized that “quarter after” means :15 not :45 so I don’t think I should be a mother?
- I know it’s okay to have anxiety, but my anxiety has heightened to new levels lately. I am really, fiercely overwhelmed and feeling a complete lack of control. Mike and I had a “plan” and I know it sounds ridiculous but I have a lot of feelings!
- I am also really scared of having a miscarriage. A lot of my fears and anxieties right now are consuming me as I over analyze every possible outcome of this pregnancy.
- The pregnancy is scaring me more than the actual idea of having a child and being a mother.
- Sick ALL THE TIME and it sucks. I’m always nauseous and groggy and am now best friends with pretzels. Which isn’t necessarily my choice, but it keeps me from feeling sick all day long.
- Incredibly sleepy. I nap in my car during lunch now for 30 solid minutes and still barely make it through the day!
- I don’t look that different but I can definitely feel some of my clothes getting tighter. And if my leggings are even a little too tight I immediately have to take them off and wear something less constricting.
- Having body image issues while being pregnant is very weird because I know I am going to gain weight and not look the same for a while, but complaining about feeling fat and not having clothes that fit to friends who don’t know I am pregnant yet is a strange phenomenon. I ordered a few dresses right before the wedding to wear to some summer events we have coming up, and those will likely never see the light of day.
- Also, I’m breaking out a lot but can’t use any of my normal acne face washes or spot treatments because the ingredients are bad for baby’s development. So currently I’m just fat and ugly and no one knows it’s because my body is busy MAKING A MIRACLE.
- A strange, sad aversion to caffeine. I sort of hate this because I feel like my life is completely twisted right now? But I hate coffee right now. One sip sends me to the bathroom. One sip?! Old me is devastated by this. Apparently this baby is a health junkie.
- When I order food at a restaurant or we have take out for dinner, I am almost immediately disgusted by what arrives in front of me. I take two bites and then have to put it away.
- I have to eat something first thing in the morning, like before I even get dressed, or I’ll feel sick the rest of the morning. I’ve been loving pears and peaches and apples, or even Chobani in Go-Gurt form.
- Telling my mom that I was pregnant and hearing her tear up for a minute! It isn’t too easy to get this lady to cry, but telling her she was going to be a Grandma was really special.
- Hearing the baby’s heart beat at our first sonogram! Holy shit. And seeing the baby dance on the screen. Little One actually looked like a gummy bear with a big head, lol! It is so surreal that this happened.
Least Favorite Memories:
- Getting sick in public where there is only one restroom. And having to tell all our friends I have food poisoning and bailing early. What an embarrassing time. And also, just a horribly painful time. Morning sickness is that much worse because you can’t take any medicine for it. You just have to deal.
- Dealing with the summer heat and humidity. This soon to be mama CAN’T TAKE IT!
The whole first trimester was less about the baby and more about my changing body, if I’m being honest. I didn’t feel a big connection to the little one just yet, I just knew that our child was definitely a warrior ninja. I also did a few things you shouldn’t do during pregnancy, like getting on a speed boat and going 40 mph on very choppy waters! And through it all I remained very sick, which I was told was a good sign because it meant Baby is healthy and Baby is there and letting me know it.
I’m now almost at my 3rd trimester, which is insane to think about, but I am feeling really excited! Pregnancy is such a weird in between time in life. I feel like I’ve just been in a waiting room for freaking ever and can’t wait to get out and get going.